.......................................................................................................................................................................................desire.

first i thought "wow maybe he has changed...."
(and i hate the idea that it was her that changed him.)
but then it came to me.. well he hasnt changed much after all....

" i miss you.
and a whole lotta part of me wants to..
but also so much is telling me not to....
not because i cant but because i shouldnt.
coz YOU cant!! "
you're not exactly available!!!!

i kiss him one last time.
then i push him away.
i slide out the door
and i run to the nearest escape.

"for every piece of me that wants you.. another piece backs away.."
bam! i hit my head on the hard wood floor..

countless of days after wont be at all easy for me..

my night was going okay and you had to go and do what you did!
                                                         once.
                                                         twice..
                                                         you ruined it again for me.
                                                         you ruined me!

i remembered the past..
    whenever we were together....

then i cried myself to sleep..
and now im....
dreaming that i am with you even though im wishing you away.